His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
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She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
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I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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