my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You've changed since you got that strap on
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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