wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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