I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
