Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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