My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
