That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
