i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
we have pet lesbian snakes
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
