you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
