i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
