how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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