Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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