Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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