If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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