Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Bring me that man meat
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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