I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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