Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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