i think i have herpe
just one?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
