So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
God, I missed his penis.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
