You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
