Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
