id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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