And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
