Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
