I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
