K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
