Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
