why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
