She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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