i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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