the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
