it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
