So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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