I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
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I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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