i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize