Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats