he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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