Texts From Last Night

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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?

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  (778): i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea? http://tfl.nu/q7z7
  Replies (44) Good night (3939) Bad night (879)
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  (323): View more from California

  question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line

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  (323): question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line http://tfl.nu/5bhb
  Replies (38) Good night (2835) Bad night (1071)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.

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  (561): My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night. http://tfl.nu/9nah
  Replies (18) Good night (952) Bad night (5006)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.

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  (904): Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions. http://tfl.nu/qtln
  Replies (4) Good night (667) Bad night (2025)
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  (631): View more from New York

  We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts

  (1-631): View more from New York

  Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?

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  (631): We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts (1-631): Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships? http://tfl.nu/5hoq
  Replies (19) Good night (2278) Bad night (1521)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.

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  (519): The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated. http://tfl.nu/ajsd
  Replies (5) Good night (1615) Bad night (1097)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.

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  (703): I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM. http://tfl.nu/2ycx
  Replies (4) Good night (1140) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas

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  (740): I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas http://tfl.nu/8zhl
  Replies (3) Good night (2075) Bad night (805)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there

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  (+44): She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there http://tfl.nu/j1ap
  Replies (6) Good night (2271) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.

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  (319): If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine. http://tfl.nu/56iw
  Replies (2) Good night (654) Bad night (1137)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated

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  (212): so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated http://tfl.nu/0gd1
  Replies (2) Good night (810) Bad night (421)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives 

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  (614): His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives  http://tfl.nu/o3zv
  Replies (5) Good night (361) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage

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  (774): Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage http://tfl.nu/jljf
  Replies (2) Good night (689) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.

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  (919): Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home. http://tfl.nu/lft8
  Replies (2) Good night (761) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION

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  (612): I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION http://tfl.nu/40f3
  Replies (1) Good night (240) Bad night (626)

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