You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
