Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize