I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
