i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
