Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
