Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
