Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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