Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
