Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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