I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
