just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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