I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
