Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I have already put on my inside pants.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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