you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
