So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize
