You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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