I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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