is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
