erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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