You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
