that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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