hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
