So drunk its hurt
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
