wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
