Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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